Judge, 1929-04-20 · page 17 of 36
Judge — April 20, 1929 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a Dr. Seuss satire in *Judge* magazine mocking pseudo-intellectual jargon and absurdist explanations for everyday mishaps. The invented term "Billiardescence" is the joke—it's meaningless but sounds scientific and sophisticated. Three "experts" offer ridiculous personal anecdotes attributed to this fake phenomenon: a cat-spanker who claims it explains a kitten's laughter, an Eagle Scout who blames too-much-milk mashed potatoes on it, and a museum official who attributes collar buttons appearing on his toast to it. The editorial note jokes that only these three "savants" understand this "fifth dimension" (mocking Einstein's then-recent relativity theories). The satire targets how people invoke pseudo-scientific or overly complex explanations to rationalize mundane accidents and coincidences—blaming vague forces rather than simple incompetence or bad luck. It's absurdist humor about intellectual pretension.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(Ep. Nove: Like Einstein's fourth dimension, Seuss’s hfth is som hat confusing, To date its perplesities ave been comprehended by only three savants—a cat- spanker, an eagle scout, and a middleweight scrivener, espectively.) Hight) inventic f the steam whistle in" a profession has almost disappeared. : it-spankery remains in New York—a small, one-room establishment under the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge. “Billiardescence,” says its proprietor, s that peculiar sensation of indigenous largesse one teely when he spanks a kitten given to uncontrollable wutbursts of hysterical guffaws!" persons. liv Right) I experience Billiardescence quite — fre- quently,” admits Heetor Fluffgate, a middle- weight serivener and one-time ator of wash- loths in the British Museum, “Every sday ! lunch at Pierre's and order clam fritters. Invariably the waiter brings me collar buttons on toast! I put this down to Billiardescence.” JUDGE Now a FIFTH Dimension. ..... . “Billiardescence” By Dr. Seuss e Scout Ormin J. St ye who know what Bilkardes: s Scout Flavor, * of Newark, is one of the three Jast week.” s win the national mashed- — 3¢ potato scaling championship. ‘The chef who had mashed my mound of ¢ ; potatoes had used too much milk. and as T leaped to the pinnacle T sank or in up to the « It was at this 1 nt that TP became aware of the 4 Dimension of Billiardescence © not made this very clear, } hat after all i 1 most indetinite subject.” 1! “T found it out comicbooks.com