Life — January 18, 1929 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Life Service Tue TELEPHONE company has inaugurated a new department whose sole function is to tell patrons the correct time. You simply call 0000, or 1111, or something like that, and a cheery voice informs you that when you hear your nickel drop, it will be exactly ten and a half minutes after nine, Eastern Standard Time. This service has proved so popular during the past few months that another department will shortly be created which will give information about the weather. This also costs a nickel—but who wouldn't rather spend a nickel now than be caught in a rainstorm ten little miles from town a few hours later? A nickel in time saves nine hats. When you throw areal party— most fastidious guests will be first to observe that you wish them to have only the best. The Finest Sparkling Table Water in the World Sole Importers: Apollinaris Agency Co, Fifth Avenue at 42nd Street, New York Perhaps the telephone company will do even bigger things in the fine. Wh not a Lost and Found department Simply dial ???? and ask the where- abouts of Ambrose Bierce: if they can’t find him, the charge will cost nothing. Or ask the operator to tell Frankie that all is forgiven, and will he please come home? Then, too, there might be some system whereby you ring Central three times and a bellboy brings up the ginger ale and ice. That would be real service. And if the telephone company keeps on broadening its sphere of activity, they may even go so far as to install a special service whereby it will bespossible for any- one to call up a certain telephone number and get it. Tuere's more than one reason why girls walk home. There’s more than one bachelor who wouldn’t have to stay that way if only some one would tell him about Sir Walter Raleigh. Oh well, for that matter, we'// tell him. It’s milder, men, a lot milder, and it will do a lot to make that strong old briar of yours fit to enter decent company. Norman R, Jaffray. | Sweet Younc Tune: “Have a cigar- ette?” Evperty Woman: “What! Smoke a} | cigarette! Why, I'd rather kiss the first | |man that came along!” | LIMITED OFFER “So would I. But have a cigarette while | (for the United States only) you're waiting.”—TiBits, If your favorite tobacconist does not carry | Sir Walter Raleigh, send us his name and addres. In return for this courtesy, we'll | be delighted to send you without charge | a full-size tin of this milder pipe mixture. Dept. 92, Brown and Williamson | | Tobacco Corporation | x Winston-Salem, North Carolina nurses know Capable—and care ful—the trained nurse administers our comfort. If there BW is pain, she gives a tablet to relieve it That tablet is Bayer Aspirin. Experi- ence has taught her 3 quickest. The doctor has told her it’s quite harmless. Who discovered how good a pipe can be Tis. Fatuer: “It’s a funny thing, but Bobby $ seems to eat twice as much chicken every time we have visitors.” Motner: “Why is that, Bobby?” Bossy: “ ’Cos that’s the only time when we have chicken!"—Passing Show. So it is safe to use in everyday life, any time you have an ache or pail Take Bayer Aspirin at the first sign of a headache, cold, neuralgia, etc. Don't wait until the suffering has become severe. Be sure, though, to get Bayer, There is only one genuine Aspirin. SPIRIN Aspirin the trade mark of Bayer Manufacturt ine ‘Moncacetiencidester of Salicyticacid Arter Crankinc It 125 Times Wire: What ails it, Harvey? Furnace-tenver: I think there must be a clinker in it! It’s milder comicbooks.com