Ellen Percy; or, The Memoirs of an Actress — page 40: what you’re looking at

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ELLEN PERCY ; OR, THE MEMOIRS oer AN ACTRESS. 4 | way, when my attention may seem to be most] gically musical voice of his,—it is true that I love elosely fixed upon a subject, my thoughts are as far | you “s away thence as the Poles are asunder: and whenI} iI now hastily withdrew my hand: indeed E appear not to be listening, I am in reality all atten-| snatched it abruptly away the very moment I tion. Those whom I hate, scorn, or despise, I in-| was wakened to the sense that it was being variably overwhelm with my affabilities:—even to} pressed in his own. those towards whom I am supremely indifferent, 1} “ Do not think that I mean to insult you,” am full of blandishments. But where I conceive} proceeded St. Clair, whose countenance for an a friendship—where I take a liking—it is there} instant had expressed a haughty anger, and had that the perversities, the contradictions, and the | then, almost in the twinkling of an eye, reas- inconsistencies of my character most display them- | sumed the tender eloquence of its look. “I am selves: for there it is that I seem coldest when my | not addressing you in that language wherein heart is warmest—there it is that my demeanour is | young men so often speak to young ladies within of ice while my soul inwardly is in a glow—there | these walls—and which, if breathed behind the it is that I can offer insult or outrage, though all| scenes, is as false and insincere as if spoken by the while I would go to the ends of the earth to| those who are playing a part before the curtain. render a service! Do you comprehend such a dis- | No, it is the language of truthfulness that I am position as this, Miss Percy ?” speaking ! You have inspired me with a feeling “It is replete with dissimulations,” I answered; | which never, never have I known before ;—and I “and he who can give such a character of himself, | who have been so proud in my very cynicism, have would be equally capable of inventing a whole | become your slave! Will you take my name and tissue of such inconsistencies for the mere pur- | share my fortune? I vow to heaven that Iam pose of gaining a reputation for singularity | sincere in the proposa.e” —eccentricity—I scarcely know what to a I have already said that here was something it.” almost irresistibly fascinating about Edwin St. Your language is severe,” replied Edwin St, | Clair: I knew likewise that he was immensely Clair: “but by heaven! there is no studied dis- | rich; and he was remarkably handsome. Can it simulation with me. You may perhaps say it isa| be wondered if I listened without interrupting dissimulation to have the appearance of hating | him? will the reader marvel if I confess that I where one really likes; but if this be a portion of ; was dazzled by the brilliancy of this offer? There Was moreover in the entire proceeding a tincture of romance full well calculated to have its weight hag influence with the mind of an artless inex. perienced girl. There was the man whose cold. ness had hitherto chafed me, now offering to make me his bride !—there was the “observed of all observers,” the centre of every circle, the promising young statesman, the brilliant St. Clair,—there was heready to sinkat my feet! I felt the colour coming and going rapidly upon my cheeks: my my character—an evidence of its weakness or its strength, whichever you please—it assured!y is not an hypocrisy: for itis natural. Though peculiar in its nature, it is not assumed. And now, will you permit me to add one word more ?” continued St. Clair, bending his looks most earnestly upon my countenance. “You, Miss Percy, have been rendered the victim of those peculiarities on my :—and would you know the cause P It is that Pp t are cold-bloodedly ferocious my conduct may hava apeared towards you, so has my real feeling been proportionately the stronger;—it is, Miss Percy, that I love you!” The reader may perhaps deem it strange when I assert that this declaration came quite unexpect- edly upon me: for although St. Clair’s language had for the last few minutes been flowing in that direction, yet did it appear so full of sophistry, or | part of thetheatre. I will deal frankly with you, at leas6 mystic inconsistency, as to leave me unable | Ellen. If you had ever appeared publicly upon the to conjecture what aimit might reach. Besides, I| stage I would not offer to make you my bride: I was too innocent and inexperienced to anticipate | could not marry an actress. But as it is No It is different! And now your deci- heart was palpitating violently—and I could give no response, “With sincerity has the proposal been made,” continued St. Clair: “and with honour shall it be carried out. But your decision must be given at once; and if it be in the affirmative, the present moment is the last time you must be seen in this avowals of love; and if perhaps any idea at all bad | matter! been floating in my mind as to the end towards | sion?” which St. Clair was aiming, it was that a proffer of| My brain was as confused as if an illuminated his friendship might perhaps be made. Therefore I was confounded when that declaration was breathed from his lips ; and then I must candidly | golden fog—through that dense illuminated mist— mist was surrounding me—a mist which alike daz- confess there was a glow of pride in my heart ! the eyes of another appeared to be looking in upon | | zled and bewildered. But gradually through that the thought that the man whose coldness had| me. They were not those of St. Clair—they were ehafed me, and who had made me as it were the! not the eyes that sometimes flashed with a sinister victim of his contemptuous reserve in the presence | light: but they were the dark brown eyes which of others, was all along the slave of a passion with| had never shed a beam to startle my soul nor to which I had inspired him. Yet it was not altoge-| leave a disagreeable impression on it. The revul- ther possible to analyze my thoughts and feelings! sion which took place in my feelings was prompt at the time, inasmuch as for some minutes they/ and signal: my brain recovered its clearness—my _were bewildered and confused,—so much so that he| thoughts grew collected: I was the complete mis- had taken my hand, he retained it in his own, and _ tress of my actions:—the spell was lifted from off I the while unconscious thereof. my mind. “Yes, Miss Percy, it is true,” he continued, “Captain St. Clair,’ I said, mildly but firmly, with 1 the melodious persuasiveness of that ma-! “I thank you for the honour which you haye done 7 A eae aes eh eaiapeetase tater sisipasuninst sane aunmnnsliigphiomis-guaienudieswtiasomeensradpsamsomcoaest GoOmiGaooks Com