The Mysteries of the Court of London — page 235: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MYSTERIES OF THE COURT. countenance,—his sense of degradation struggling with his pride—the conviction of a sustained, wrong yearning to proclaim itself, but held back by the shame of declaring what he felt himself to be,—all these feelings finding such comical expres- sion in features whose aspect was at the best of times most ludicrous, that the valet never ex- perienced such difficulty in keeping his counte- nance. “Tt’s all very well that I am everything you say,” continued the Earl, with unusual pettishness —for never was his idea of his own greatness so cruelly shocked, or brought down to a level so closely bordering on a sense of abject: littleness: “but it does not prevent me from being, Make- peace — eh, Makepeace? — you know what I mean a—a » and then with a desperate effort, and before the valet could interject another complimentary phrase, the Harl blurted forth—“ a cuckold !”” Makepeace started with an astonishment so admirably feigned that his master believed it to be perfectly genuine; and for nearly a minute they gazed upon each other,—the valet as if in speech- less amazement, the Earl with a grin that was most ludicrously doleful. “My lord,” at length said the valet, “there must be some terrible mistake in all this. What! the Countess forget her duty to her husband !— and such a husband!—a husband who is in all respects one in ten thousand! Surely your lord- ship is labouring under a delusion ?” “Well, I don’t know, Makepeace. It’s true I’ve seen strange things in my time. There was the spectre of the Hartz mountain—I nodded familiarly to him: but he took his hat right off to me.” | “ A homage to your lordship’s rare qualities,” said the valet. “ Well—and then there was the mirage, too,” continued the nobleman. “I was once riding on an elephant in Africa; and in the horizon which bounded the desert, I beheld the reflection—but with this simple difference, that the elephant was riding on me.” “Emblematical of your lordship’s great bodily strength,” interjected Makepeace. “Well, they were optical delusions, after all,’ said the Earl: “ but really, when one sees a young gentleman kissing a young lady, it is difficult—eh, Makepeace P—to persuade oneself that that is an optical delusion.” « And yet, my lord—with due deference to your superior understanding,” replied the valet, “there might be an optical delusion on such a point as even this. Indeed, when I bethink me, I just now saw something that might serve as an illustration —if I dare introduce such names in connexion with such a matter i “ Speak out, Makepeace,” said the Earl, fidget- ting about on his seat: “though I tell you it will be no easy thing to persuade me that I am not— you know what I mean. But about this illustra- tion of yours ?” “It is simply this, my lord,” resumed the valet. “Just now, when your lordship descended from the dressing-room, I went into the garden to pick a flower or two for my own chamber I am very fond of flowers, my lord when I beheld Lord Osmond %y $$ I I ae tte ty msi arama 229 “Ah, Lord Osmond!” grinding his false teeth and clenching his fist. “My own son—the villain!” But Makepeace, as if not noticing the interrup- tion, went on to say, “I beheld Lord Osmond laughing gaily with Miss Vincent; and she too was laughing heartily —evidently at something which he had just been saying to her. Well, my lord, just at that moment the Countess appeared at the window of her own room; and her lady- ship gaily exclaimed, ‘ What lovers’ secret is this passing between you?” “‘ She said that—did she 2” cried the old noble- man eagerly, and quivering with suspense. “Yes, my lord—that is what the Countess said ; and she appeared to enjoy amazingly the confusion into which her sudden appearance at the case- ment had thrown Lord Osmond and Miss Vincent. Then Miss Vincent, with many blushes, said to Lord Osmond, ‘Do pray, my dear Adolphus, tell the Countess what it is we were saying.’ You will pardon me, my lord, for being so ex- plicit is “Yes, yes—go on, go on!” said the Karl, catch- ing eagerly at the hope of finding himself no cuckold after all. “Well, my lord, the rest 1s soon told,” con- tinued Makepeace. ‘“ Lord Osmond rushed up to the window, while Miss Vincent stood blushingly aside ; and he forthwith whispered the secret in the ears of the Countess. Now, my lord, what I mean to infer from all this is, that suppose any one had been near enough at the time to see merely Lord Osmond and her ladyship under those circumstances, and yet too remote to have overheard what previously took place—the im- pression might have been very detrimental in- deed fi “ By heaven!” shouted the old Earl, “I am no cuckold after all!’—and springing up from his chair, he began dancing and capering about the room, performing the most extraordinary antics and throwing his body into the most grotesque contor- tions. “Why, do you know, Makepeace,’ he ejaculated, when it at length pleased him to desist from those demonstrations which however interest- ing as an expression of feeling, were certainly somewhat uncouth if regarded in the light of attempts to exhibit the twistings and twirlings which the human limbs can achieve, and to dis- play how the human frame can become as circum- volved as a corkscrew,—“do you know, Make- peace, that it is the very incident you have been so innocently describing, which put such a dreadful idea into my head? And yet I now see if all! It was an optical delusion ves, and an auricular delusion also: for would you believe it, Makepeace, that I could have not only sworn I saw the kisses but likewise heard them ?” “Tt shows, my lord, how even the most intelli- gent can deceive themselves,” said the valet gravely. “It does indeed! But what a fortunate thing I did not give way to my rage! I would not for the world have exposed myself so foolishly.” “Tt would indeed, my lord, have been a very sad business,” rejoined Makepeace. “ Yes—and what would the Countess have thought of me?” exclaimed the old nobleman. “You see, Makepeace, what extraordinary com- muttered the Earl, (C 0)(0)(0) (C(O) Ss (C(O)