The Soldier's Wife — page 173: what you’re looking at

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152 CHAPTER XXXIII. INTEMPERANOE, HYPOCRISY, AND DECEIT. FREDERICK LONSDALE passed a_ sleepless might: he was tortured by a thousand pangs— racked by the most harrowing reflections. But upon all these we need not dwell: suffice it to Bay, he was forced into the conclusion that to save Lis wife’s honour from the aspersions which unprincipled individuals would throw upon it, he must abandon the hope of obtaining justice against the ruffian who had sought to ‘out: we and ruin her. In short, Lonsdale must move no further in the matter. Galling and bitter indeed was such a decision: but there was no alternative. Being relieved from arrest, he was enabled to visit the lodging on the morrow; and he explained to Lucy all the particulars of his interview with the Colonel. It pained him to be compelled to mention to his wife the threat that had been held out; but he could not avoid revealing everything, in order to ac- eount for the decision to which he had been driven—namely, to let the matter drop. Lucy was cruelly shocked at hearing that ler virtue was even breathed upon by suspicioy’s taint on the part of those unscrupulous men: but her husband assured her, with so many fond en- dearments, that he himself believed not for a moment the villainous construction which was thus sought to be put upon her conduct, that she grew pacified. At all events she calmed herself as well as she was able; and indeed, the unfortunate young woman had experienced g0 many sorrows in her life, that she began to regard each successive one as belonging to a destiny which must be accepted with resigna- tion. Several weeks passed; and Lonsdale experi- enced no renewal of Redburn’s petty tyran- nies. Indeed this officer avoided meeting him as much as possible; and as our hero was not in the Company which he commanded, there was little opportunity for them to come into collision. But during this interval Frederick had gradually become a more frequent visitor to the canteen, and a less constant one at his wife’s lodging. There were moments when he was so tortured by a sense of the wrongs he had sustained, and his powerlessness to avenge them, that he felt himself compelled as it were to fly to the use of stimulants to distract his thougits. At first he drank with what he considered to be moderation—that is to say, merely to excite himself somewhat without be- coming absolutely inebriated; and he studious- ly endeavoured to keep the circumstance from his wife. But this course of conduct led to eortain little hypocrisies and deceits, at length merying into downright falsehoods, upon which he could not help thinking, when perfectly so- ber, with shame and anguish. He first of all aie carraway seeds to disguise the odor of li- quor in his breath; and in order to account for the increasing irregularity of his visits, and gometimes his total absence altogether, he woulu devise tales of extra duty to be per- formed—of attentions to be shown to a sick comradeo—enud other artifices of a similar de- ee —————————————————————— —S—”€OO(O0(NN oor x THE SOLDIER’S WIFE. scription. He soon took to smoking: and thes it no longer continued necessary to chew the carraway seeds. It was of course impossible for him to deny that he smoked: but he assure ed Lucy that it had beem recommended to hi by the surgeon of the regiment; and in order to excite her sympathy, and disarm her of thoge reproaches and remonstrances wl ich, howover gently and delicately made, he feared she might address to him—he affirmed that it was in 00m sequence of a debility and a sensation of pam which the two cruel secourgings he had under. gone had leit behind, that he was thus advised to have recourse to tobacco, The habit of smoking gave an impulse to tha of drinking, not only by producing thirst, but also because it encouraged Lonsdale to sit for intervals together in the tap-room of the can- teen, instead of merely standing at the bar im- bibing his liquor and departing when he had drunk it. Moreover he required money—in ad- dition to the beggarly pittance that remained to him from his pay after the usual deductions— to minster to these habits that were growing upon him. And now came tresh excuses—tfresh artitices—fresh falsehoods, every time he ens croached upon the little pecuniary stock. On one occasion it was a comrade who had got into trouble and required a little assistance. On an- other ocgasion it was to make up a sum of money to assist the half starving wife and chil dren of another comrade: then perhaps it was to contribute towards setting up a soldier's widow in a little business—or else it was to purchase some accoutrement to replace one he had lost. All these were pure fictions; and though at first Lonsdale had devised them with difficulty and told them with a very bad grace, yet by degrees he became hardened, and made his statements with a glib tongue and an un- blushing countenance. Poor Lucy endeavoured for a long time to close her eyes as much as possible against the actual truth: she sought to persuade herself ~ that her suspicions were unfounded—that it was only her fancy that Frederick looked excited as if with liquor—and that it was impossible his moral courage and natural excellence of disposi- tion could thus be giving way. Never did a reasoner argue more strenuously to convince an opponent, than did this poor young woman to persuade herself that what she feared was con- trary to what she hoped. Thus weeks and months passed away: but Lucy could not con- tinue for ever to reason herself against the pa- tent evidence of facts. The pretext for ene croaching on their store—the excuses for irreg+ ular visits and protracted absences—the eva sions with which her husband sought to account for his flushed cheeks and excited manner,—all combined to destroy his wife’s contidence in the rectitude of his conduct, and to preclude the possibility of shutting her eyes any Be the fearful truth. But did she reproach him? did she ‘ikon him? did she even remonstrate with him? No: she did nothing of all this—at least not at first But she redoubled, if possible, the attentions aud assiduities which she was ever wout © show him when he was at the lodging. She Gomicbooks.co