Adventure Magazine Cover, October 10, 1921 — page 106: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

g6 “Fo’ the benefit 0’ the heathen, seh, whose inner nature the Rev. Mr. Tuttle hopes to touch, enlighten an’ dry-clean on the pro- ceeds of this Baptist church bazaar. I approve most heartily, seh, as long as it don’t interfere with a gentleman’s long- established personal habits.” “Here comes Dick Tuttle now,” warned Mr. Gilfish, and settled back in his seat, as the Rev. Richard Tuttle came up the hotel steps, and greeted the two with blithe and confiding air. ‘Mornin’, seh,’’ responded Colonel Tunk gravely. “I trust the harvest in your fruit- ful but dusty vineyard is producin’ adequate results?” “Great!” retorted Preacher Dick cheer- fully. ‘Been putting in my own licks on the bazaar decorations, kunnel! You want to see the Arabic booth—rigged up with the old plunder that my friend, the king of Hedjez gave me when I left Aden. Antique matchlocks, spears and scimitars—some of ?em relics of the days of the Bashi-Ba- zouks es “Seh?”’ queried Colonel Tunk hastily. “The boozooks “Oh, no!—Bazouks! ‘Nothin’ doin’, kun- nel! But you want to drop in tonight. I'll show you a little corner of Araby. The hot sands, kunnel, and a little oasis to rest your caravan. I requisitioned all the cozy corner stuff in town for rugs and to make a tent. The Millard conservatory donated two palm trees, and the drayage company three loads @f sand for the desert floor.” ‘“‘Palms?” ventured Mr. Gilfish. ‘‘Coco- nut?” ‘“‘No—cabbage. Colonel Tunk is fur- nishing the nuts. Great stuff Mr. Gilfish— Coconuts festooned around the Arabic booth and a big pile of ’em to peddle out along with the cakes and ice cream and fancy work—I expect to clean up a hundred dollars for the missionary fund.”’ “T trust so, seh. The simple heathen soul to whom coconuts mean milk and pie-fillin’ needs enlightenment. Heartily, seh, I com- mend your efforts, even as a blockader——” ‘“A—a—blockad ‘‘A—backslider—” corrected the colonel grandly and with perfect composure. “We shall all be there, seh. I was speakin’ to Judge Brandagee “Bring all the old boys!” cried Dick, wiping his perspiring face. ‘And I hope that steamboat unloads your coconut con- Adventure tribution, kunnel, before it’s too late to decorate our little sandy Sahara. Sitting under a cabbage palm, kunnel,. you can listen to the grape juice gurgle as Mattie Millard pours you one—or maybe you and I'll crack a toconut or two!’ “Seh!” retorted Colonel Tunk hastily, while Mr. Gilfish gasped, “But I guess you’d rather take yours home,” went on the preacher cheerfully. “‘Pie-fillin’ and layer cake, eh?”’ ‘Some are to be used in our lodge meetin’, seh. Palms and coconuts, Mr. Tuttle, the symbols.of the mirage toward which our weary pilgrims are trottin’ over the sandy wastes. The new order of the Sons of Oolah “Whore” queried the Rev. Dick Tuttle: interestedly. “Oolah, seh. While not absorbed pa’ticu- | larly in pie-fillin’, the Sons of Oolah, seh, would be gratified to sequestrate a few of these coconuts fo’ their symbolic ceremonies, seh “Sure thing!’ repeated Mr. Tuttle, ear- nestly gazing at the fascinated Gilfish who craned an ear to every word Colonel Tunk uttered. ‘“Oolah? It sounds good to me, kunnel! What’s the matter with admitting me? You'll need a chaplain. Oolah— Oolah—Sons of Oolah—sounds good, like a college yell!’ ‘Seh, the few dozen coconuts we desire,” pursued Colonel Tunk evasively, “I might select this evenin’, Mr. Tuttle, at the steam- boat landin’?”’ “Take the biggest. You’re mighty gen- erous at that. I want this missionary affair to shake up the old dry bones of the church, kunnel. I’m out for the goods—shake ’em down, roll ’em out flat—the old codgers in this town need a goin’ over from a live young man. I’m goin’ to make ’em forget I’m a parson and think of me as a business man out to sell °em something!” ‘“‘You have my entire cooperation, seh!” rejoined Colonel Tunk. “We'll all drop in befo’ lodge meetin’.”’ THE two Sons of Oolah watched the earnest young missionary go === down the block and again crank his flivver. The parson whistled and sang and joked with passers-by; if there was anybody who could shake down and flatten out the tightwads of Mississippi City, Mis- sissippi, it was Rev. Dick Tuttle. NOOK CONMIG C@