Adventure Magazine Cover — page 89: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ef bs Too Much Progress for Piperock 83 ' WE WENT up into the hall, which is all fixed up for the social doings. | They’ve got the stage ali curtained off and the room is full of chairs. Mrs. Smith, Mrs. Tilton, Mrs. Gonyer, Mrs, Holt, Mrs. Wheeler and Mrs. Steele are there. Magpie leads me and Dirty up to the stage and in behind the curtain. “My !” gasps Dirty. Sheep!” “‘There’s four sheep tied up back there— all rams. “Sheep—yes,” agrees Magpie. “Them is what Miss Harrison calls ‘atmosphere.’ ”’ “At— Oh, my!” gasps Dirty. ‘“What’s she mean, Magpie?” ‘“‘Accessories to my dance,” explains Mag- pie. ‘I’m the star performer in “The Shep- herd’s Awakening.’ ” “What do we do?” asks Dirty. “You fellers are fauns.” “I’m the old buck deer—me,” declares Dirty. ‘“You’re more cockeyed than me, Magpie if you cam see me with four spindle legs and a spotted hide.”’ “A faun,”’ says Magpie, ‘“‘a faun is a thing that looks like a human bein’, but ain’t. It wears skin pants, but from there on up it’s plumb nude. On its head is little horns, and it’s got a tail like a goat. It plays a tune on a wooden whistle.” Me and Dirty looks at each other, kinda foolish-like. “T think it’s lovely of you two gentlemen to step in the breach,” says Mrs. Tilton. “Step in the—oh—!”’ croaks Dirty, wild- eyed. ‘This is terrible!” “Tt will be a big thing for Piperock,” says Mrs. Gonyer; “‘and it will teach the male sex that the women are the real progres- sives. Don’t you think so, Mr. Harper?” ‘“There’s goin’ to be a lesson taught,” says I. “Experience is a great teacher, but I ain’t never learned much. I thought I was wise, but I finds that— Well, I ain’t never wore a tail like a goat and blowed on a wooden whistle yet.” “T hope that Testament’s skin pants vill fit Mr. Harper,” says Mrs. Tilton. ‘Mr, Harper is a little wider across than the Reverend.” “Mr. Jones will be a little snug in Sam’s,” opines Mrs. Holt, ‘but he don’t have to do only one little dance.” Dirty’s bad eye rolls a complete circle and then stops with a dead center on the tip of his nose. He grabs me by the arm and flops down in a chair. “Tke,” he gasps, “Ike, shoot me while there is yet time.” “Shoot yourself—you’ve gotagun,” says I. “T know it, bub—but I’m so nervous I’d miss.” Dirty just sits there and sweats. “Them sheep—has they been trained?” I asks. “‘They’ve been here two days,” says Mag- pie. “They ought to be used to the stage.” SUDDEN-LIKE we hears a crash (&) 3 down-stairs, the sound of loud voices raised in anger, and then up the’ stairs comes Judge Steele, Wick Smith, Pete Gonyer, Art Wheeler and Sam _ Holt. They’ve got Scenery Sims in their clutches, and he’s squeaking like a rusty gate. They files into the door, and Magpie greets ’em with a gun in each hand. “Come ye in anger?” asks Magpie. “Kinda,” admits Pete. ‘This whang- doodle tried to stop us.” “Put your hands up!”’ snaps Magpie, and the whole gang reach upward. ‘Take their guns away, Scenery.” “Now,” says Magpie, backsliders?”’ ““Ma-a-a,”’ wails Testament. “You ain’t aimin’ to carry out your threat, are ye?” “Y’m goin’ to dance—if that’s what you mean,” says Mrs. Tilton, mean-like. ““Arabellie, does you mean that you womin—” begins Wick. “Wick Smith, you started this,’ says “what’s eatin’ you Mrs. Smith. “You told me I was narrer. You said I was fifty years behind the times, didn’t you?” “That —— Magpie Simpkins put them words in my mouth, Arabellie.”’ “T won’t stand for it!” yelps Pete. “No woman of mine can ¥ “Pete, you shut your face!’ whoops Mrs. Gonyer. “If you don’t want to see me imitate a raindrop—vamoose. I sure am goin’ to rattle on the roof.” “Tl git out a injunction,” says Judge Steele. “By mighty, I’ll declare it a public nuisance! I’ll stop this here——’”’ “You'll set down and keep your face shut,” says Magpie. ‘You five pelicans are goin’ to set right down and look and listen. Has you all got tickets?” None of ’em has bought a ticket, and they opines they won’t. “Scenery,” says Magpie, “take two dol- lars from each of ’em.” commicbooks (C@