Adventure Magazine Cover, March 20, 1925 — page 146: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

128 Caldwell, idiotic though your remarks seem to be. You, I take it, are but little. in- terested in this situation with which we find ourselves confronted.” “You misjudge me, sir,” Sleepy voiced mild protest, and started to get up. But the Old Man motioned for silence, and Sleepy slumped back in his seat. The Old Man went on: “The problem we face, gentlemen, is that of providing some satisfactory ‘substitute for the turkey which, to speak flippantly, has flown our coop. I need not impress upon you the fact that this Christmas is the first the unit has spent out of the line since coming to France. The men are all keyed up. They’ve done nothing but talk fowl dinner since Division—hang their blundering ways—broached the idea. It’s up to us, gentlemen. Division has disap- pointed us. True! But we must not dis- appoint the troops. Now, who’ll provide this substitute, this substitute that will put the X in Xmas?” “Leave it to me,” shot Canning. “Or me,” said Meyers. “Or me,” added Blane. The Old Man rubbed his hands together in approving fashion. “Proper spirit, gentlemen,” he _ said. ‘And you, Caldwell?” Sleepy drawled— “T can at least try, sir.” “About what I expected from you, Cald- well,” declared the Old Man, banging down at the table, where he drew a sheet of paper to him and began to scribble in his jerky way. We watched him write, aware that something was in the wind. Presently he glanced up, asking— “No trouble to jockey a Paris leave, Lewis?” “No, sir!’ I promptly replied. “Well, then,” asserted the Old Man, “just to indicate the deep concern with which I view this situation I propose offering a Paris warrant—five days’ leave—to the one of you who pulls the fat from the fire, so to speak; to the one of you who makes the 25th what it should be. And to con- vince you I’m not bluffing, gentlemen, I’ve placed my proposition in writing—here. Lewis can be judge; can take charge of things. I’m sorry Ill be away for a day or so. But I know that when I return I shall find—I’m confident of finding—the situation cleared up.” Adventure We clicked heels and saluted smartly as the Old Man left the room. I heard the clang of the big door at the back of the chateau whither he had gone. Then I stepped over to the cupboard, where I pro- cured a bottle and glasses. Mimicking the Old Man’s manner of de- livery, I said: “Gentlemen! To start you off right! On your mark! Get set! Go!” The glasses jingled as the boys set them down on the table top. “T hereby declare this race on,’’ I stated. “And may the best man win. From now on you must think only of fowl tactics.” Canning and Meyers and Blane seemed keen for the Old Man’s stunt, but Sleepy Caldwell continued to evince the same dis- interest on which he’d been checked up by the C.O. Once Sleepy drawled: “Can’t we avoid the running about this business will entail? This is a rest tour we're supposed to be doing ’way back here. I can’t say I’m strong for work. Couldn’t we appropriate some of the regimental funds and go buy from the villagers what chickens we would need?” “Not a bad idea,” I commented, “except that there are no chickens to buy. The Montreal outfit that went out of this town as we came in put the caput sign on the chickens. They stole, I’m led to believe, everything old enough to say: ‘Peep-peep!’ With the result that any one poking around a hen coop these nights is liable to run into the business end of a shotgun. Experience teaches. The Frenchies have quit yelling, ‘Voller’ and are shooting now instead of challenging.” “You can’t kid me,” scoffed Canning. “Nor me,” said Meyers. ‘“‘Nor me,” added Blane. I looked at Sleepy Caldwell. Sleepy had his square heels planted on the polished table top. “What do you think, Sleepy?” I fired his way. “T think,”’ said Sleepy slowly, “it’s about time for another drink.” r) WE DID the on-the-mark, get-set af and go business over again. We m2) repeated the maneuver until Sleepy looked as if he had taken more than was good for him. ~ Suddenly from the back of the chateau sounded a door’s clanging. The Old Man GOMIGIOO CO