Amazing Stories, August 1927 — page 80: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

494, with us the night of that .. er. . unfortunate little trouble with the Automatic Dining Table can do so. They simply washed their hands of that invention and of me. Yet the dining table is being put on the market now. We have a company organized and will soon have our factory equipped. Accidents will happen with any invention when it is being tried out. Think what the automobile was like twenty years ago! But I can’t convince that crowd, and unfortunately they are my best friends,—or at least they were once,” So Hicks’ talk went on, and by the time we had arrived at his house I had promised him to straighten everything out for him with his relatives and friends and to persuade them all to come and inspect his new invention, though I had not as yet seen it myself. Perhaps that will give you some idea of Hicks’ powers of conversation. But here we were at his house, a three-story affair of many rooms. We climbed the stairs and presently we found ourselves in a living room of moderate di- mensions, pleasantly decorated and neatly and ele- gantly furnished, “Looks like an ordinary living room, eh?” asked Hicks. “Like a more than ordinarily pleasant one, I should say,” I replied, allowing myself to slip into one of the several overstuffed chairs. “And yet, O'Keefe, this room is as unlike an ordinary room as a hen’s egg is unlike a golf ball,” said Hicks. “This is room Number One in my Fully Automatic Apartment.” “And how does this room Number One in your Fully Automatic Apartment,’ I said in jocular tone, “differ from any other? Surely you are not trying to kid me into believing that there is any- thing unusual about it?” “No, I am not trying to kid you,” Hicks replied with rising dignity. “I merely state a fact when I say it is different. And that difference consists in the circumstance that this room is self-cleaning, self-sweeping, self-arranging. Possibly it has escaped the notice of your astute mind,” he con- tinued in a tone slightly tinged with irony, “that _ there is a push button board near this door.” With this he indicated a small board neatly done in scin- tillating glass and with a row of mother-of-pearl push buttons disposed on it. “Possibly also,” Hicks went on, “you have not noticed several other peculiarities. But I will now let action show, not words,” and rising, he pressed one of the buttons on the switchboard. MAGINE my surprise when the chair in which I sat, together with a large rocker near me and the table upon which I had just deposited my hat, suddenly began to move, and in another second had traveled half way across the room, all in the same direction, leaving a swath several yards wide lengthwise of the room free and clean of all furni- ture. Before I had time to recover, another sur- prise topped this one. At the end of the room a low grating such as commonly covers the register for hot-air systems suddenly swung open and there emerged what for a brief, startled moment I men- tally put down as a fierce animal with a bushy tail, but in which a second later I recognized a suction al AMAZING STORIES sweeper with bag attached. This sweeper evi- dently had a mind of its own, besides considerable speed, because without any visible help, it hastily proceeded along the wall in a straight line and, ar- rived at the opposite end of the long room, moved sideways by its own width and retraced its way, keeping in a strictly straight line. Before my be- wildered gaze, this mechanical animal came and went along the floor until it nearly grazed the chairs. I was just about to stutter a few words of bewilderment when the machine, arrived at its starting point, suddenly halted. There was a,click and a purr, and the entire mass of fomsiturd ow crowded to one side of the room, started to Move, my chair carrying me along; and lo! in a jiffy it all was lined up along that side of the room which had just been swept. “How does it strike you, old man?” The voice of the inventor seemed to come from afar, so dazed was I, “Well, T'll be dashed,” was all I managed to stut- ter as I wiped the sweat off my forehead. And again that diabolically clever, superhuman-minded carpet sweeper started on its methodical way, nor did it stop until it had completed its work and every inch in the room had been gone over. As it neared the wall, another door, similar to the one from which it had appeared, swung open, the machine entered, and with a click both doors swung shut. At once there was another movement among the furniture, and those pieces which had last moved out of the way returned to their original position, until the entire room was again neatly arranged. The inventor struck a match and lit a cigarette while I wiped the perspiration off my face. “Well?” he inquired casually, between two puffs of his cigarette. My voice came back to me. don’t know what to tell you. You have handed me the surprise of my life. When you mentioned that automatic apartment, .. .” “Calm yourself, my boy,” placidly stated Hicks. “I have just demonstrated to you the Automatic Carpet Sweeper and the Self-Arranging Furniture —just one feature of my Automatic Apartment. Tell you the secret, too—electro magnetism, heavy iron plates are attached low down under the furni- ture—you will note the furniture is all somewhat low. A system of electro magnets is arranged in rows under the flooring. When I push the button, the first thing that happens is that one row after another of the electro magnetic poles becomes mag- netized and then demagnetized, thus moving the furniture along. The suction sweeper is furnished with power of its own, but also kept true to its path by remagnetization of row after row of the same magnetic field. But I will now show you some things which are really remarkable. Let us pro- ceed to the kitchen.” And thither he led the way, while I followed, trying to brace myself for the next surprise. We entered the kitchen, which was “Hicks,” I said, “I spacious and beautifully arranged, with cheerful colors decorating the walls and ceiling. I looked around me. Everything was there that should be found in a well appointed kitchen. The there was more to it tha(c@isi) sink was of porcelain, but I could see at once that = ae icbo Ksecom