Argosy All-Story Weekly — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

TUNED OUT, just as important historically as, well, the Flood, or any other great news event in the earth’s history. Now just as there was an historian for the Flood there ought to be one for this. I wonder—” ‘“ But look here—” “I wonder if you would mind ringing for more pop-overs? You might suggest some broiled kidneys and another pot of coffee while you are about it. I’ve already had my breakfast, but I can’t stand up here like this and watch you eat without feeling hungry.” “IT wish you wouldn’t,” I said hopefully. “Tf you will only sit down Ill order up anything you like. And I yet don’t see that anything you have been talking about goes to prove that I am peculiarly fit for writing up your adventure.” “You will. You said yourself that it would be a dangerous thing for Ramier’s discovery to be loosed upon the world. Well, I agree with you.” “JT am very glad that you do, as it closes the whole question. We need say nothing more about it.” T hastened to change the subject and fled to the opening up of what I hoped would grow into a heated discussion on baseball —a theme that I have found out will hold Billy enthralled for hours at a time. “ Now my personal opinion of the Babe is that—” “Tt closes nothing! And I haven’t the time now to discuss ball players. To go back to the Flood—” “Took here, young man, I have read numerous outlines of history,” I told him severely, “ and if you thi—” “J do wish you wouldn’t interrupt me. You know very well what I mean. The man who wrote up the Flood attacked it exclusively from its pictorial angle. It didn’t interest him a bit as a problem in physics in relation to the elements. He was evidently just as unable to explain, scien- tifically, the cause for such a whale of a bunch of water as is the Man in the Moon. But he made a good story out of it, and an important one, too, In the world’s history.” “T still don’t see—”’ “ Tt will be the same way with you. Your handling of this adventure will be solely dramatic, and such scientific data as you 1 nal 803 will have to bring in will be quite unin- telligible and probably wrong. I doubt whether the most acute scientist in the country will be able to follow your account and then reproduce Ramier’s experiment. You are the ideal man for the job.” “Tf you think,” I said indignantly, “‘ that I am going to sit here and supply you with broiled kidneys and pop-overs while you stand up there and spend your time, be- tween swallows, in insulting me to my—” “TIT do wish you would stop flying off on a tangent like this, sir. You know as well as I do that I wouldn’t dream of insult- ing you. Besides, I haven’t all morning to waste. I am due in an hour to take Jennie to church, and unless I see you properly started at your desk by then I’m pretty certain you will fritter away the whole afternoon, and this affair has been kept from the public long enough.” “How would it be if we were to hire some perfectly good writer to do it?” I suggested weakly. ‘I’m sure there is any number of them who would jump at the chance. If one can believe half the things that are said about authors, and I more than suspect one can, they are always in a state of being desperate about something or other, generally about food. I imagine we could find a good, honest, capable one with an authentic wife and a few authen- tically starving children who would look upon the commission as a blessing con- ferred directly by Providence. We could then put out a very private edition of four copies and everybody would be satisfied.” ‘‘ Nobody would be satisfied at all,” said Billy with confident belligerence, inas- much as he had just caught sight from the tail of his eye of Hopkins coming into the room with a tray on which were the broiled kidneys and pop-overs. “ This story must be scattered to all parts of the earth so that all peoples may know what happened. After you have finished it you can persuade one of the editors you know to print it.” “There you go too far,” I said. “I might write it,” I added, ‘‘ but I am certain that no power on earth could budge any self-respecting editor into publishing it.” Billy caught the inch on the bound and at once proceeded to ell it. Oo COMicloo “eS (©)