Argosy All-Story Weekly — "Sea Marauders" — page 102: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

0 524 it short and snappy. In the first place, my name is not Lloyd Lorraine. My correct naine is Joe Paterson, and [ am an assistant director for Beautiful Ficcires. <. “When you fellows refused to do a picture for us for twenty-five thou- sand dollars, we forgot all about it until I chanced to hear you were in town, with the object of making an in- dependent production. I told Ike Smith about it—” “Enough!” I snaps. “I don’t need any diagram to figure out the rest. You got the job as director, under the name of Lloyd Lorraine and, with the exception of Bessie Barrow, grabbed a hand-picked cast from the ranks of Beautiful Pictures and—” “And,” helps out Joe Paterson, “proceeded to make the best Western comedy ever shot! What’s more, we should gross at least two hundred thou’ THE 6] Lu ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY. on the picture, besides signing up a new prima donna and a new writer of comedies. However, it is the inten- tion of Beautiful Pictures to be fair and square at all times in their business relations.”’ “What d’yer mean?” I asks. ““T mean,” he explains, “ that Beau- tiful Pictures Corporation will send a check to Mr. Two-Punch Simpson for the sum of fifteen thousand dollars, which, added to the ten thousand he has already received, will net him a total of twenty-five thousand, the sum origi- nally offered to Mr. Simpson for a five- reel picture.” “That,” I admits, “ will be lovely. But there is one thing that ain’t quite. clear in my mind; to wit: Who was that guy, Mr. F. Wainwright Mc- Nulty?” “That gentleman,” replies Joe Paterson, “ was my boss, Ike Smith,” | END Le} The Doubting Thomas MY daddy says when he was young, He was th’ greatest rogue unhung. In lots 0’ fights he used to mix, An’ he looked jes’ like Richard Dix. An’ ma says in her younger age, Folks wanted her upon th’ stage; She looked like Greta Nissen then, An’ courtin’ her were lots o’ men. ©’ course, that’s years an’ years ago When dad was jes’ my mother’s beau— But, still, if they’re not talkin’ rot, They both have changed an awful lot! Pat Costello.