Argosy All-Story Weekly, June 27, 1925 — page 107: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THROW UP YOUR HANDS. the yawning mouth of the drinker, and the man hissed and sucked the grateful liquid into his shattered interior. “All right, ladies and gents,” Big Sam cried. ‘‘ Th’ store is open. Step up one at a time fer yore cups—and don’t crowd. Ladies fust!” Only for a moment longer did the thirst- stricken group hold back. There were oaths and cries of “ Profiteers!”—" Blood- suckers!’ But human endurance could en- dure the strain no longer. They squabbled and fought for a place im line. Within half an hour the tubful was empty. Toward the last, the profiteers were disposing of water by the cupful for $s. Their corner in water had netted them close to $1,000! And the thirst of the crowd was by no means slaked. Black Dan MacGillicuddy hastened across the street to Friday Pepper. “Tell yore chief we want to put in an- other order fer a tubful right away—same terms, F. O. B. Dead Man’s Pass.” “ Nothin’ doin’,” was the answer from the standpipe. ‘“ The price of water has gone up. You fellers made more on that fust delivery than I did. This next tubful is going to cost you an even five hundred bucks.” “We'll take it at them terms!” Black Dan said decisively, and counted the bills into Friday’s palm. In all, four tubfuls of water were sold before trade fell off. And Friday had stowed away in his pockets $1,700. - “Now,” Black Dan said to Friday, “tell yore principal that we're ready to do some business in cold baths. Ask yore chief how much he wants fer enough water fer a man t’ take a bath in. [ reckon one of them tubs brimmin’ full is plenty of water fer any man t’ take hisself a bath in.” “Listen, Dan,” Big Sam Snarky indig- nantly interrupted, “ we ain’t sold near all the water we kin fer drinkin’ pupposes yit. Why, we c’n sell a half dozen more tubs at a slightly reduced rate. Whut d’ya mean by lettin’ go of sech a fine graft?” Black Dan took him aside. “Shet yore fool mouth, ya bonehead. Don't ya suppose I know we ain't met th’ big popular demand yit? Of coss, I know it, But don’t you realize th’t we kin prob'ly buy bathin’ water fer a fraction o’ whut we've been payin’ fer drinkin’ water? And ain’t it th’ same water?” A light of understanding had dawned: upon Rig Sam’s puzzled face, and together they returned to the loud speaker, “ Whut price is-he askin’?” Black Dan inquired, ‘T believe that a clean man ought to be encouraged,” the water monopolist, in Dead Man's Pass replied. ‘“ And I’m gain’ ta make a special low rate—for bathers only. Fifty bucks for a tubful of nice, coal, bathin’ water. Now, Friday, kindly un- connect the loud speakin’ horn and let me speak a few private words into your ear. Tell me when you're ready.’ ‘ All right, chief,” Friday said presently. He placed the receiver to his ear and listened. After an interval he nodded sober- ly and said: “Il foller yore instructions t’ th’ letter, chief,” and reconnected the loud speaker. Julius Yost pushed his way through the crowd to Friday’s side. “IT am speaking for my mother and my friends, Judge Oglethorpe and Marshal Snif- fin. Each of us wants a bath. We were robbed of our money by that brutal coward. Here is my personal check for two hundred dollars.” Black Dan seized him by the elbow and spun him about. “Look yere, stranger,” he said harshly, ‘Me and my friends’re runnin’ this yere bathin’ concession. Ef ya want t’ save yore- self trouble, keep yore check in yore pocket ontil it’s called fer. Savvey? If ya want a bath, we'll sell ya a bath—at th’ proper time. Don't take that check of his, Friday Pepper. Yere’s five hundred in cash. I'm payin’ in advance fer ten baths, and I’m a goin’ t’ take th’ fust one! Tell yore principal ¢’ start th’ water a runnin’) Hey thar, Sam! You and Jim git buckets and start fillin’ yp th’ Grand Hotel bathtub as soon as this yere tub's full.” And he winked broadly at Big Sam and Jim Rooney. “ Jest a minute, friends,” Friday Pepper said. “I've gut t’ attend t? somethin’ fer th’ boss afore this water is. turned on fer you boys’ baths,” He crossed the street briskly and entered COMmica@oo SS Co