Argosy All-Story Weekly, June 27, 1925 — page 108: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ARGOSY-ALLSTORY WEEKLY.. and ery Emporium. When he the YUP SO esed a package under one returned, he calT e right chief,” he called into the , a roe «Let th’ fust tub of bath a asy. et d ‘beside the tub as it filled. AL right boys,” Black Dan cried, as the water reached the tub’s brim. “ Fill duckets!” mt You boys shore ya’re a ce - use ae water fer bathin’ pupposess” Snidey sal sternly. “ Why, bless yore old heart, o’ coss we are!” Black Dan boomed jovially. “It's fer external use only,” Friday per- sisted. ‘ This yere water ain’t to be used fer drinkin’ or cookin’ pupposes under any conditions. That’s clear, ain't it?” “ Shore it’s clear, old pal!” “T jest wanted to make shore ya wasn't buying it under any false ideas or fixin’ to sell it under any false pretenses,” Friday said. And he ripped the top off the pack- age, dipped into it with his hands and tossed a heaping handful of a white granular substance into the water. “ Whut in Sam Hill is that?” Black Dan roared. “ Nothin’ but Scrubine, Dan. Th’ chief gave me orders t’ doctor it up fer external use only.” ‘‘ Soap powder!” Black Dan moaned, and backed away from the tub as though it contained poison. “ Holy sufferin’ cats, I can’t sell ten baths to this yere crowd, not with a hull yar t’ do it in!” His two colleagues, Big Sam and Jim Rooney sidled up to him. “ Ya got us into this,” Big Sam snarled. « Now, whut're ya a goin’ t’ do t’ git us t iP) “ Whut kin I do, boys?” “Ya said ya wanted th’ fust bath.” « But I was only playin’, boys.” «“ Wall—ya’re a goin’ t’ take it!” « Good Gawd, Sam, have a heart! You _aogw me well enough to know whut a dead- Vv aversion I got agin baths. Ya want me t? at eumony and die, don’t ya?” « J don’t keer whut else ya catch,” Big cam said relentlessly, “ but ya shore are a oi t' catch a bath. Grab him, boys! Karl and Gory—you two tote th’ tub into th’ hotel, will ya? We're a goin’ t’ see th’t Black Dan gets bathed proper. Dump in some more o’ that Scrubine, Friday, a good, stiff jag of it.” Willing hands seized the tub and Black Dan. TF ighting with the fury that is com- monly ascribed to madmen, he was carried into the Grand Palace Hotel, and presently his picturesque oaths could be heard, punc- tuated by the splashing of water and the harsh, scraping sound of a scrubbing brush on his skin. But when he emerged he wore a smile. “ Folks,” he announced, “I want t’ tell ya that those of ya who have never took a bath—and I reckon that sweepin’ly em- braces most everybody yere—ya don’t know whut ya’ve missed! That cool, cleanin’ water agin the skin is a brand new sensa- tion. I’m converted. From now on I catch me a bath regular every Sattidy night. Now, who's next? Who wants one of these re- freshin’, invigoratin’, sensational, novel baths?” Doubt and irresolution swayed the crowd for a moment, then they surged forward. Julius Yost fought his way through the press. “ How much are you going to charge— you highway robber?” he snarled. “One hundred bucks! And take my word fer it, stranger, ya’ll git th’ s’prise of yore life!” “Will you accept a check?” Shore!”’ Julius wrote a check for four hundred dollars—for four baths. Wun Lung Low presented himself at the hydrant with a copper washboiler when the demands for baths had somewhat subsided. He wanted undoctored water. It was filled at a cost, to him, of forty dollars. The profiteers had paid twenty dollars. Julius Yost, freshly bathed, grasped him by the arm as the laundryman started back to his laundry with the full washboiler. ‘“How much do you want to launder this shirt?” Fi’ dolla’.” ‘* That’s too steep!” ae Walla steep, too. Laundly sky COnniEaoo () SS Co