The Argosy, April 1916 — page 178: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

168 first I didn’t dare, and after I grew up I didn’t care.” “Shouldn’t think you would! You didn’t steal that horse, Bud; you just collected part of your wages! Nice sort of family you’ve got. Your uncle holding a charge of horse stealing against you for fifteen years and your own cousin coming out here to arrest you! What we ought to do is play hors® with that deputy and make a monkey out of him!” “Why not do it then?” interjected Judge. “If we played our cards right he might change his mind about pushing this charge. What kind of a geezer.is this cousin of yours, Bud? Has he ever been West or does he just entertain the average York State tenderfoot’s idea?”’ “As I remember Johnny, he used to be up in the hay-mow about half the time reading the life of the James boys and sim- ilar edifying literature,” answered Bud. “I shouldn’t be surprised if he had a highly lurid opinion of our little wild and woolly.” “If that’s the case we’ll make his dream come true!” exclaimed Zeke delightedly. “Bud, you’re the badest man this side of the Mason fruit-can and Dixon pencil line. When that cousin policeman of yours hits town and you give him a display of your prowess as a man-eater, I wouldn’t be sur- prised if he did change his mind. I’d change mine if all I’ve thought of in the last ten seconds was to be sprung on me and I believed it!” “How about Spud? He won’t stand for any horse-play,” objected Bud. “Spud! Huh, don’t worry about him. Why, Bud, there are three hundred and eighty-nine different ways of yanking the hide off a coyote. Spud’s so absolutely wrapped up in his oath of office that he can actually be made a fool of. Now, let’s get back uptown and talk this thing over with every reliable man in Niggerhead and get the stage set. We ain’t got any too much time.” IT. ALONG about half-past four the next af- ternoon Charlie Murdock, a telephone line- man, who had entered heartily into Zeke’s scheme to save Bud, slipped out of town on a motorcycle and five miles away he climbed a telephone pole, attached his emergency ‘phone to the wires and called up the sheriff’s offce. _ “Hello, sheriff,” said he in a disguised THE ARGOSY. voice, “this is the agent at Marengo Junc- tion. The westbound passenger train on the T. & L. line has just been held up and robbed six miles east of here. About ten men in the gang. Fifteen or twenty pas- sengers shot and the conductor and brake- man are dead. Got away with a lot of money and are headed south toward Cactus Center—” ‘“That’s enough! I’ll head ’em off!” shouted the sheriff, and hung up the re- ceiver. While he was saddling his horse the deputy sheriff was shouting the news up and down the street and calling for volun- teers. He got plenty of them, and every one was a stiff-necked law and order guy that hates a good joke worse than an old toper hates sweet milk. He would have had plenty of the other kind, too, if it hadn’t been that every re- liable man in town had been tipped off on the play. It is a good thirty miles to Marengo Junction, and three times that distance to Cactus Center, and we figured that the posse would make for the latter place in an effort to head off the mythical bandits. If they did they would find it a long, long way to Tipperary, as Judge remarked. Just before the posse departed the sheriff came tearing up on his pinto and hailed Zeke thusly: “That Eastern deputy is due to arrive on the six o’clock to-night and I ain’t going to be able to meet him. I appoint you special deputy to receive him and see that he is used right and that he and Bud get fo- gether.” “YT am delighted!” exclaimed Zeke ear- nestly. ‘This is a most unexpected priv- ilege and simplifies matters wonderfully. You can rest assured that I will do my duty, Spud.” Then away they went and the population ° left in the town scattered like quail and got busy. There was quite «. little to do in the next hour. Inside of ten minutes the old Red Front had a new sign over the door which read ‘Bucket of Blood Saloon,” in red letters a foot high and the boys had collected all the old gambling apparatus in the town and decorated the interior until the original old B. of B. would have looked like a Y. M. C. A. reading-room in comparison. Zeke came out of the barber-shop with his big mustaches dyed black and the tips CoOmicloooks (©