Life, 1928-12-21 · page 30 of 36
Life — December 21, 1928 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **satirical commentary on William Lyon Phelps**, a prominent Yale professor and literary critic known for his digressive, anecdote-filled writing style. The mock "Market Reporter" piece parodies Phelps's tendency to constantly veer off-topic with personal reminiscences—jumping from stock market analysis to stories about Paris, tennis with Professor Peterkins, and a child with a boat. The satire mocks how he would interrupt serious financial reporting with irrelevant tangents about his travels and social interactions. The irony is sharp: Phelps is asked to report on Wall Street's stock crash (which "cracked today to the lowest levels in seven years"), yet he treats this serious economic news with the same casual sentimentality he applies to everything else—even admitting "I held ten shares of Steel." The page's other content—a dog calendar advertisement and cruise ship ads—appears unrelated to the satire. The humor relies on readers' familiarity with Phelps's distinctive, rambling literary persona.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
$$$ IF WILLIAM LYON PHELPS WERE A MARKET REPORTER Puopte are always asking me why I prefer cat to dogs. That thought cropped up in my mind when the editor asked me to write a report on Wall Street. Why should 1? But again why should I not? For cats are essential after all no less than dogs. Still, I must confess a sneaking and bourgeois predilection for the Big Board, When General Motors cut its melon, a fruity slice, not one of your tranches of the Conti- nental breakfast fame but something substantial, 1 was quite surprised. The tone of the market was steady toward the close but flurries of selling broke out now and then. Which reminds me that I was walking along the Rue de Chambéry in Paris last summer (all the world loves to be in Paris in August!) when I met a little child with golden hair and a little wooden boat. The child started to cry and just then a nursemaid picked her up and fed, Something mysterious which I have never been able to fathom. Speaking of religion (but was 1?), something of the same thing happened last May when | was playing tennis with Prof, Peterkins at Yale. 1 shot a forehand drive to his left corner and he slipped and fell in trying to retrieve it. “I'm sunk," he cried brightly and an infor- mal gallery gathered and began to laugh. And back to the market again! I will get on that subject. Stocks cracked today to the lowest levels in seven years. In a mad panic of selling sales crossed the five-million mark. Steel fell 60 and Radio 45. I retrain from adding any more unpleasant details, 1 held ten shares of Steel, you know. If Aunt Millie could only se me now! —Loren Carroll, in Chicago Evening Post THE POWER OF THE EYE “He strode across the room to the window and looked out and it stopped raining.” —Provi Paper, Wuex we do that it comes on more heavily than ever.—Humorist (London). sunt CRUISES TO Tryp est Indie | CARON CORP, 389 FIFTH AVE. NEW YORK LIFE’S _?atama = DOG CALENDAR fais taie Vendio can Romance bythe onerous oil burning berbine steno an annual institution, for which there is an enormous and VOLENDAM or VEENDAM ever increasing demand. It is a delightful and welcome Fle hat nee Arty erator) Christmas gift for all those who love Vighing Berd, Kingston, Portau-Prince (Fait!) Havara dogs (and those who don’t love dogs From New York March 9, 1929 - |. Hawand don’t deserve to have presents). Niting Ringase, Gamat), Colon (Pecans), Hiro You can obtain LIFE’S DOG CAL- 29 Day Cruise b7 8.8. Veendam ENDAR by mail order from LIFE, 98 From M ¥2.F 32, 3929 Madison Avenue, New York City. The price is ONE DOLLAR a copy, post- include and rank Te patd. sions, carefully arranged out by Prank Taxi " Ditnted Boxlfet 24, sent on vogue Send your order in NOW. The supply i HOLLAND-AMERICA LINE 21-24 State Street, New York is limited, . —_ Cis, nt em Oe fa pom comicbooks.com