Life, 1928-12-21 · page 25 of 36
Life — December 21, 1928 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines political satire with a Christmas flower advertisement. The left column presents "A Glossary of the World Peace Situation" by Parke Cummings—sharp satire mocking post-WWI diplomatic language. It exposes the hypocrisy of nations' self-serving definitions: "Purely Defensive Measures" vs. aggressive "Aggrandizement," "Patriotism" vs. foreign "Nationalism," and "Humanitarian Methods" (poison gas) vs. enemy "Barbarism." The glossary satirizes how governments justify identical actions differently depending on whose side commits them. Below are humorous poems about romance and a snippet mocking a child's naive belief in thousand-dollar bills, with a parent joking about "Democrat children." The right side features a full-page advertisement for flowers as Christmas gifts, with an elegant fireplace mantelpiece display—a commercial message framed within the magazine's satirical content. The juxtaposition highlights Life's dual role as both social commentator and advertising vehicle.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
0 eee 8, Jo - ss c T - 10 re ovis A Glossary of the World Peace Situation Purely Defensive Measures: What our Army and Navy are organized for. Aggrandizement: Why the other fel- low is building more tanks and cruisers. Offensive War: A misnomer. Nobody ever fights offensive wars. Nationalism: Europeans’ unthinking chauvinism. Placing the welfare of one’s nation above the welfare of humanity. Patriotism: Self-sacrifice and loy.lty to the greatest nation on earth, Mistrust: What foreigners regard us with. Practical Regard for Human Nature: How we regard foreigners. Barbarism: Unscrupulous use of chemi- cal weapons by enemy nations in future wars. Humanitarian Methods: Scientific poison gas which will kill quickly and painlessly. Entangling Alliances: Utopian arbitra- tion dreams which are sure to embroil us in future conflicts. Secret Agreements: Sound _ practical precautions against finding one’s self ar- tayed against powerful combines. Civilized Warfare: Rules to prevent the next war from killing too many peo- le. The Great War (1914-18): The War to End War. Parke Cummings. Racketeers Listen, pretty little sister, If you tantalize and tease me So, a growing doubt of Mister Cupid’s honesty will seize me. You have made a lot of jack at Every scheme designed to trim me, And you play a cozy racket With your “Gimme, gimme, gimme!"* Ah! That's right! Go skip a beat, heart! Ting-a-ling! Your knell of sorrow: “Hello, Phyllis! Yes—yes—sweetheart! Tea?—O, K.—At five tomorrow!” Wilfred ]. Funk. YES, THERE IS, TOO! “Mom, the little boy next door says there’s no such thing as a thousand- dollar billl.”” “There, there, run along, and don’t play with those Democrat children any more!” He: These sound pictures are really wonderful. Just think, we'll be able to hear Rin-Tin-Tin bark. Sut: How adorable! And I’m just crazy to hear Felix the Cat purr. LIFE FLOWERS softect the true spirit of CHRISTMAS Bright blossoms and fresh grow- ing plants ..... how perfectly they symbolize this sparkling season! This year give flowers, the gift that truly says “A Merry Christmas to You.” Iki American Florists is the Sign of a Good Florist comicbooks.com